Thursday, August 1, 2013

Rock Bottom

Well hello, internet friends. Did you miss me?

I know that unexplained absences from the blogosphere are not entirely unheard of for me, but this may be my longest hiatus yet. I also know that you all probably want an explanation, but unfortunately I don't really have one. I'll be honest - life hasn't been so hot for me lately. Over the past month, I broke up with my boyfriend, got screwed over by the rebound, and last Saturday I lost my only living grandfather. 

The worst part though, on top of everything, is that I feel like I've lost myself. I've gained a ridiculous amount of weight, I'm doing things that are out of my character, and I'm not being the person that I know I want to be. I really feel like I've hit rock bottom, and I think this is quite possibly the most unhappiest I have ever been. 

Here's the thing though: I think I am finally learning first hand that no one can control your happiness except you. I try to think back to when I was the happiest, and it's when I was writing this blog and being the healthiest, most positive person that I could be. I didn't even have a boyfriend! So I'm making it my goal to find that person again. Right now I'm not comfortable in my own skin, and I need to regain control of my life. Honestly, I know I won't be ready to bring another person in (re: man) until I can take care of myself and am confident in the person that I am and what I'm doing. 

I'll try to return with regular scheduled blogging tomorrow. In other words, I'l try not to be so darn depressing. Ha. But you guys know how I am - I blog what's on my mind and tell it like it is. 

Hope you're all doing well, and it's good to be back.

xoxo

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